I want you. I need you. God damnit I can't afford you.

Sigh
Swoon
Please?

prevent defense:

spit-shining my silverware at work helps me prevent others from using it. not that they would use it, becuz I keep that shit on lock in a labled ziplock baggie. and not that they would even know it was spit-shined, buuuuuuut if they do seek it out, pilfer it and use it, they'll get not-herpes...they'll still get germies.

Oh Ruche, you play with my heartstrings

Hey summer (the season, not you)...

....thanks for finally showing up so I can eat this, muthabitches.

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first world problems.

So, I want something a little bit slutty for Vegas, because its Vegas. Found this little number in solid cobalt blue on clearance for like $15 and jumped its bones.

It came in the mail yesterday. Yowza - it fits the bill of a 'slutty Vegas dress'. I'd be lying if I said A: I didn't kinda like it anyways and B: I can't guarantee you won't catch a glimpse of buttcheek in it. However, versatile it is not, and I'm trying to be good about only buying/keeping things I love and can get an assload of mileage out of...

I found these little pretties:

tank dress - similar sillohuette but prob contains less spandex. I'm not ecstatic about the neutral colors, but could live with it...could make it more versatile, no?! Maybe in grey, if its not 'make me pasty grey'???

ruffly pockety dress - it may be a bit casual for an clubby night out in Vegas, but that color is fantastic and it. has. pockets. (imagine it with my new mustard wedges and a belt...sigh).

Both are currently in stock at the Nordstrom at Stanford mall. FML.

TORN. HALP!

Fat

I love when I'm all "shit, yeah! I'm gonna eat HELLA HEALTHY today and stop being a lard ass! Woot!!" and then half way through the sentence of someone telling me that there's left over lunch from a meeting, I'm shoving sandwiches and potato salad and mini cheesecakes in my face like it's my last fucking meal.

Sigh.

Faker

"My family really likes you. My aunt was asking my mom if you're always so mellow and laid back".

Apparently I kept it well under wraps that I was mid shit fit when this encounter happened because OMG YOU DONT NEED TO TURN THE ENTIRE DINING AREA AT THE HOTEL UPSIDE DOWN TO FIND US CHAIRS TO SIT AT YOUR TABLE I'M ACTUALLY MORE THAN HAPPY TO SPEND JUST 10 MINS OF ALONE/QUIET TIME WITH THEBOY AWAY FROM THE CONSTANT TORNADO OF FAMILY-NESS AND DEAFENING NOISE IN SAID DINING AREA WHILE WE EAT BREAKFAST OUTSIDE.

Omg.

Seriously.

Alone time. Ah needz it.

yum.

Kara's Cupcakes three days in a row?  Don't mind if I do/did!

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I like big hay-er

You know when you  can just FEEL that you're having a good hair day? Like, it feels like it's sitting perfectly around your face and you're all "shit, yeah! I am ROCKING my hair today!!".

And then you go to the bathroom and look in the mirror and your hair is totally wonky and flat and looks nothing like you thought it did.

Damn it.

Margs

"Relationships are about compromise; my margaritas are not." - Bethenny Frankel

I've been hearing a lot about Skinny Girl Margaritas.

Mostly that they taste great and are really strong.

I feel like a test night should probably be in our future.

Written as I drink my 97th Fat Girl Margarita of the weekend.

#winning

Eff YOU, coworker in the $400 loafers!

I'M wearing my new $3 shirt!

IT has a dabble of neon colors on it and is awesome.

AND it matches my neon yellow skivvies, which are ALSO awesome.

Point: me.

Maxi Skirts

I'm obsessed.

I want/need some/lots.

Edit (30 secs later): I bought both. Because I'm made of money and my rent DIDNT just go up 20% and I DIDNT just book a flight for a weekend in socal. Whatev. I get an extra paycheck in June, so eff it. My ass has the potential to look SICK in these. Time will tell...

Edit 2: This is my first purchase from Ruche since December. I feel so alive!

Sucktastic

Few things suck as bad as having a blister from wearing heels, knowing the instant relief a bandaid would provide, but NOT HAVING ONE.

ow.

I almost feel like I'm at the age where cute heels are worth the excruciating pain.

But not quite.

Picture of health.

Nothing says fit like a half-pound of sugar.

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Is it hot out yet?

Ghetto (sideways) sangria/spritzer w dick ice.  Makes me look forward to summertime and the real thing...

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Oh my Oliver Jeeezus...

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/50-unexplainable-black-white-photos?s=mobile

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Eff

I hate it when it inexplicably hot at work  and I have to take my sweatshirt off, revealing the crappy t-shirt underneath that I put on thinking that I wasn't going to take off my sweatshirt all day. Stupid casual Friday's.

Nice people are nice.

From cube neighbor this morning:

"Good Morning Summer,

You’re good, and *Company Name* is lucky to have you…. :)…and that goes for your boyfriend too… :) "

The second smiley face was actually red. 

 (and not as creepy as it potentially sounds. uber nice guy)

In the span of 2 secs

Me to coworker: "Cute cardigan!"

In my brain: "It's like the color of raspberry sorbet. But the GOOD raspberry sorbet thats super dark. Like Haagen Daz sorbet. Not the pink fakey raspberry sorbet. Sorbet always makes me think of sherbert. Rainbow sherbert sounds SO good right now. Is it sherbet? I think it is. Sherbet sounds wrong. And kinda lame. Sherbert is way cooler sounding".

The end.

Oh hey, creeper...

True story:  as I sit on CalTrain this afternoon wishing for a beer, a lovely lil Asian girl sits across from me.  I glance up and make eye contact w her adorable and perfect-in every way knapsack (yup, just said/wrote knapsack).  Size, shape, color...its everything I want -nay, need- in a work bag.

In a sly effort to snap a pic of it to recall later, I managed to catch the eye if the stranger seated next to her...causing momentary panic that it totally looked like I was in hot pursuit of her Vag, not her Bag to surge thru me and resulting in the shot posted.  So there's that...

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